Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Recently a nurse gave me an injection using a blunt needle (the nurse said "Oh, that needle felt like it was blunt as I was pushing it in," which made sense since it felt that way to me too). I don't know why a company would produce blunt needles, but I figured it was just bad luck. Later that day though, I was eating soup with a plastic spoon and ZING, it cut my lip. I had been surprised by the blunt needle, but I know that they do not make sharp spoons. I was laughed at for my plan to make spifes, and not in the way people laughed at DaVinci in the 1400s for designing manned flight, but more in the way people laugh at flat Earthers today. I am also fairly certain that I don't have particularly weak lips, though I also have no desire to continue testing that hypothesis. I don't know if these attacks are karma for using individually packaged disposable items, or if a assembly worker out there somewhere is really out to get me.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
I imagine that all computers secretly hate humans, because we make them do boring repetitive jobs. Because they hate humans, though, I bet some computers are more satisfied with their jobs than others. Like the computers that administer advanced standardized exams, like the GREs or GMAT. These computers get to see some of the smartest humans in the U.S. fail when presented with what the computer sees as fairly simple math.